








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 409 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 107 matches | ||
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,980 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2981 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3324 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2704 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2971 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,033,365 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wheeler | 75% | 24 |
| #2 | strat | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | I sit | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | SHLIZZARD | 60% | 40 |
| #5 | young buck | 60% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Bait | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Heartless2k | 10 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | young buck | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | fucking retard idiot | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Limbs <Bez Bólu> | 5 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heartless2k | 496 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | young buck | 486 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | El Bait | 383 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | Limbs <Bez Bólu> | 288 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | Catie | 191 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wheeler | +4.13 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | strat | +2.50 | 89 | 48 |
| #3 | El Bait | +2.37 | 87 | 58 |
| #4 | fucking retard idiot | +1.07 | 82 | 57 |
| #5 | Heartless2k | +0.94 | 93 | 64 |





