








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 974 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4912 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,997 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5380 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4012 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2987 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3618 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,417,479 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 728 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHLIZZARD | 77% | 43 |
| #2 | wheeler | 72% | 208 |
| #3 | I sit | 68% | 146 |
| #4 | El Bait | 68% | 225 |
| #5 | chuck | 68% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Pwhit | 61% | 33 |
| #12 | RyzoH | 57% | 70 |
| #13 | Heartless2k | 56% | 45 |
| #14 | young buck | 54% | 72 |
| #15 | tooth | 54% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wheeler | 641 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | El Bait | 527 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #3 | I sit | 312 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Arugula | 247 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #5 | young buck | 224 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Bait | +3.62 | 89 | 65 |
| #2 | wheeler | +2.68 | 90 | 64 |
| #3 | fucking retard idiot | +2.59 | 88 | 60 |
| #4 | Limbs <Bez Bólu> | +1.93 | 78 | 64 |
| #5 | I sit | +1.18 | 92 | 43 |





