








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 727 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5397 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,618 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2288 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3225 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3563 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3542 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,431,436 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 978 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I sit | 78% | 97 |
| #2 | Arugula | 72% | 47 |
| #3 | Kirel | 70% | 66 |
| #4 | strat | 70% | 105 |
| #5 | SHLIZZARD | 68% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wheeler | 616 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | El Bait | 550 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #3 | Limbs <Bez Bólu> | 509 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #4 | Kirel | 354 | 0.28 | 10 min |
| #5 | RyzoH | 272 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fucking retard idiot | +3.25 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | El Bait | +2.66 | 86 | 61 |
| #3 | wheeler | +2.21 | 88 | 66 |
| #4 | strat | +1.87 | 90 | 41 |
| #5 | I sit | +1.71 | 92 | 41 |





