










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1950 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,027 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 554 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1338 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1529 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1606 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $692,954 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | xPringo | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | WhoRänZone | 50% | 26 |
| #9 | ( ゚Д゚) | 44% | 32 |
| #10 | گtŏrý ŏ£ =[ŘΒŤ]= | Max | 43% | 21 |
| #11 | Kornelsen | 37% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Banzoo | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Kornelsen | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | mkr- | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Anti-Kilian | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Mr.Apfelkuchen | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Banzoo | 203 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Kornelsen | 185 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | mkr- | 148 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Too Bad | 127 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Anti-Kilian | 118 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Apfelkuchen | +2.75 | 59 | 64 |
| #2 | mkr- | +2.13 | 63 | 60 |
| #3 | xPringo | +1.30 | 62 | 59 |
| #4 | Too Bad | +1.27 | 57 | 66 |
| #5 | Uw0tm8 | +1.15 | 58 | 59 |





