








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 261 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 366 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4675 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,947 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2373 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4727 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3293 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3554 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,891,978 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uw0tm8 | 56% | 85 |
| #2 | comaN | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | ( ゚Д゚) | 54% | 92 |
| #4 | mkr- | 51% | 303 |
| #5 | Kornelsen | 50% | 248 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Johnny Banzoo | 50% | 353 |
| #7 | Anti-Kilian | 48% | 65 |
| #8 | Mr.Apfelkuchen | 47% | 240 |
| #9 | Kilianasus | 41% | 41 |
| #10 | Entropie | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Banzoo | 13 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Mr.Apfelkuchen | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Kornelsen | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | mkr- | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | ( ゚Д゚) | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Banzoo | 902 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #2 | Kornelsen | 828 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #3 | Mr.Apfelkuchen | 677 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #4 | mkr- | 575 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #5 | Kilianasus | 121 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Entropie | +2.01 | 48 | 62 |
| #2 | Mr.Apfelkuchen | +1.72 | 59 | 67 |
| #3 | mkr- | +1.60 | 63 | 61 |
| #4 | ( ゚Д゚) | +0.41 | 70 | 46 |
| #5 | Uw0tm8 | +0.34 | 53 | 57 |





