








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 999 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4929 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,995 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5461 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3607 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4335 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3592 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,114,570 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hatty | 57% | 51 |
| #2 | puppygirl ❤ | 54% | 189 |
| #3 | Firehawk | 53% | 72 |
| #4 | DeathHawke | 53% | 59 |
| #5 | JustLaben | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | JustLaben | 52% | 33 |
| #6 | AnoniMouse | 50% | 78 |
| #7 | ChelsBells | 47% | 91 |
| #8 | Sto0kerz | 44% | 34 |
| #9 | Parrish | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeathHawke | 14 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | puppygirl ❤ | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Firehawk | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | JustLaben | 7 | 0.0107 |
| #5 | ChelsBells | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | puppygirl ❤ | 870 | 0.23 | 22 min |
| #2 | ChelsBells | 267 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Sto0kerz | 224 | 0.31 | 5 min |
| #4 | DeathHawke | 196 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Hatty | 157 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | expo | +3.62 | 75 | 63 |
| #2 | Hatty | +0.48 | 77 | 73 |
| #3 | JustLaben | -0.01 | 76 | 46 |
| #4 | ChelsBells | -0.13 | 70 | 58 |
| #5 | Parrish | -0.48 | 73 | 39 |





