








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 179 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,237 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1524 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1130 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1861 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1722 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $642,219 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scould_the_Kobold | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | JustLaben | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | expo | 50% | 78 |
| #4 | twink boi | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | Firehawk | 44% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | JustLaben | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | expo | 50% | 78 |
| #4 | twink boi | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | Firehawk | 44% | 133 |
| #6 | draco | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Firehawk | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Scould_the_Kobold | 6 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | expo | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | draco | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | JustLaben | 2 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | expo | 310 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | Firehawk | 195 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Scould_the_Kobold | 107 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | draco | 83 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | JustLaben | 33 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | expo | +6.21 | 74 | 66 |
| #2 | Scould_the_Kobold | +2.89 | 55 | 64 |
| #3 | twink boi | +2.53 | 54 | 28 |
| #4 | JustLaben | +1.22 | 73 | 43 |
| #5 | Firehawk | -0.75 | 50 | 43 |





