








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1204 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1120 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1482 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 222 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 468 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $213,476 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | blue | 44% | 9 |
| #9 | J_Arno | 43% | 118 |
| #10 | saM | 39% | 18 |
| #11 | Scoop | 36% | 11 |
| #12 | TWRK | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dom Burgão | 10 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | J_Arno | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | OakyPoky | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | TWRK | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Timer | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J_Arno | 265 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | OakyPoky | 153 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Dom Burgão | 75 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Timer | 40 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | saM | 39 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bugstomper36 | +2.59 | 48 | 48 |
| #2 | Timer | +1.76 | 61 | 59 |
| #3 | Dom Burgão | +1.43 | 72 | 46 |
| #4 | Scoop | +1.35 | 52 | 54 |
| #5 | OakyPoky | +0.58 | 38 | 61 |





