








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 274 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1423 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,826 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1406 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1177 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1212 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1031 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $841,054 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 368 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WidePeak | 50% | 22 |
| #2 | ToXicZ | 47% | 53 |
| #3 | Raquez | 47% | 103 |
| #4 | Yasch | 45% | 88 |
| #5 | DerGooglehupf | Marcell | 45% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Yasch | 45% | 88 |
| #5 | DerGooglehupf | Marcell | 45% | 143 |
| #6 | silex | 44% | 134 |
| #7 | never lucky | 35% | 26 |
| #8 | BeefB3ast | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerGooglehupf | Marcell | 29 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Raquez | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | WidePeak | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | silex | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Yasch | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raquez | 482 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #2 | DerGooglehupf | Marcell | 481 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | silex | 313 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | ToXicZ | 287 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #5 | Yasch | 254 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raquez | +1.79 | 87 | 65 |
| #2 | silex | +1.52 | 81 | 66 |
| #3 | ToXicZ | +0.80 | 76 | 73 |
| #4 | DerGooglehupf | Marcell | +0.25 | 63 | 59 |
| #5 | WidePeak | +0.07 | 58 | 58 |





