








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 728 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 369 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4204 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,500 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3762 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4090 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3035 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2613 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,592,372 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerGooglehupf | Marcell | 65 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Flusion | 20 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Yasch | 17 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | WidePeak | 12 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Raquez | 8 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerGooglehupf | Marcell | 1277 | 0.16 | 26 min |
| #2 | Yasch | 940 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #3 | Raquez | 738 | 0.21 | 21 min |
| #4 | ToXicZ | 438 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #5 | WidePeak | 437 | 0.13 | 11 min |





