








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Faceit | 137 matches | ||
| Renown | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,474 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8374 | 34% |
| Smokes | 6480 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4653 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4967 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $793,885 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1465 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steff0 | 67% | 69 |
| #2 | boom | 58% | 264 |
| #3 | heli- | 57% | 397 |
| #4 | jjakc | 57% | 288 |
| #5 | Rownoid | 55% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | heli- | 57% | 397 |
| #4 | jjakc | 57% | 288 |
| #5 | Rownoid | 55% | 96 |
| #6 | AcEY | 50% | 34 |
| #7 | jens | 38% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boom | 12 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | jjakc | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | heli- | 10 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | jens | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | steff0 | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boom | 1405 | 0.26 | 38 min |
| #2 | heli- | 1246 | 0.15 | 27 min |
| #3 | jjakc | 914 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #4 | steff0 | 255 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | jens | 240 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cjayyatess | +1.98 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | boom | +1.93 | 85 | 72 |
| #3 | steff0 | +0.98 | 88 | 61 |
| #4 | heli- | +0.54 | 81 | 63 |
| #5 | jjakc | -0.46 | 79 | 61 |





