








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 870 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 158 matches | ||
| Premier | 97 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,548 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2448 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2893 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3382 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1825 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,396,665 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 848 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krayn | 65% | 68 |
| #2 | Captn.GoodCat | 62% | 52 |
| #3 | ACC | Xenothas | 60% | 52 |
| #4 | ncL ツ | 58% | 31 |
| #5 | Shilix | 56% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Captn.GoodCat | 62% | 52 |
| #3 | ACC | Xenothas | 60% | 52 |
| #4 | ncL ツ | 58% | 31 |
| #5 | Shilix | 56% | 50 |
| #6 | Ziibits 🍺 | 47% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ziibits 🍺 | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Shilix | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | ACC | Xenothas | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | ncL ツ | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ACC | Xenothas | 275 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #2 | Ziibits 🍺 | 151 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Shilix | 123 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Krayn | 80 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Captn.GoodCat | 65 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krayn | +1.96 | 57 | 56 |
| #2 | ACC | Xenothas | +0.23 | 73 | 81 |
| #3 | Shilix | +0.22 | 63 | 71 |
| #4 | LuggaJ | +0.16 | 75 | 54 |
| #5 | ncL ツ | -0.07 | 69 | 66 |





