








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1674 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 472 matches | ||
| Premier | 350 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9432 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,554 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2801 | 11% |
| Smokes | 6118 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 10284 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 7351 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,066,117 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 649 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LuggaJ | 65% | 68 |
| #2 | ✪ tschabrnack | 57% | 49 |
| #3 | ACC | Xenothas | 49% | 721 |
| #4 | Captn.GoodCat | 49% | 716 |
| #5 | Shilix | 48% | 475 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ✪ tschabrnack | 57% | 49 |
| #3 | ACC | Xenothas | 49% | 721 |
| #4 | Captn.GoodCat | 49% | 716 |
| #5 | Shilix | 48% | 475 |
| #6 | ncL ツ | 48% | 519 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ACC | Xenothas | 14 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Shilix | 12 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Captn.GoodCat | 10 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | ncL ツ | 4 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | ✪ tschabrnack | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ACC | Xenothas | 3104 | 0.20 | 101 min |
| #2 | Shilix | 1549 | 0.15 | 48 min |
| #3 | Captn.GoodCat | 928 | 0.06 | 18 min |
| #4 | ncL ツ | 407 | 0.04 | 10 min |
| #5 | LuggaJ | 164 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ tschabrnack | +2.47 | 74 | 70 |
| #2 | Krayn | +1.33 | 62 | 53 |
| #3 | ACC | Xenothas | +0.33 | 78 | 79 |
| #4 | ncL ツ | -0.43 | 70 | 57 |
| #5 | LuggaJ | -0.89 | 75 | 55 |





