








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Renown | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3499 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,689 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1828 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2568 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1642 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1651 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $766,206 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 590 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geod5 | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | Lewdawg_ | 59% | 88 |
| #3 | Solrak | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | LoJI | 51% | 100 |
| #5 | Mbr | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Lewdawg_ | 59% | 88 |
| #3 | Solrak | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | LoJI | 51% | 100 |
| #5 | Mbr | 48% | 27 |
| #6 | ket | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoJI | 11 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Lewdawg_ | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | ket | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Geod5 | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoJI | 382 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | Lewdawg_ | 271 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Geod5 | 124 | 0.32 | 3 min |
| #4 | ket | 83 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mbr | 44 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caws | +2.10 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | Lewdawg_ | +0.70 | 83 | 63 |
| #3 | Geod5 | +0.70 | 81 | 65 |
| #4 | Solrak | +0.54 | 77 | 73 |
| #5 | ket | -1.34 | 73 | 48 |





