








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3328 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3513 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3430 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2398 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2736 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,216,423 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 268 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vincenzo Santorini #1 | 58% | 113 |
| #2 | Abz | 55% | 93 |
| #3 | Lewdawg_ | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | caws | 51% | 100 |
| #5 | Wowee | 51% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Lewdawg_ | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | caws | 51% | 100 |
| #5 | Wowee | 51% | 153 |
| #6 | ftz. | 49% | 118 |
| #7 | MatthewCannon | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caws | 19 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | ftz. | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Abz | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Vincenzo Santorini #1 | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Wowee | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wowee | 636 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #2 | ftz. | 561 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #3 | Vincenzo Santorini #1 | 343 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | Abz | 323 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #5 | caws | 287 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caws | +2.61 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | Abz | +1.54 | 83 | 58 |
| #3 | ftz. | +1.09 | 81 | 61 |
| #4 | Lewdawg_ | +0.60 | 87 | 57 |
| #5 | Vincenzo Santorini #1 | +0.54 | 64 | 54 |





