








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 107 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2388 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,378 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3807 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4305 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3114 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3152 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $521,037 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 197 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖝 Meister | 69% | 49 |
| #2 | Neate | 61% | 33 |
| #3 | Tango | 56% | 104 |
| #4 | MacDonald | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | Sebrof | 55% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | FreshOJ | 52% | 29 |
| #8 | Fenris | 51% | 74 |
| #9 | Geod5 | 51% | 111 |
| #10 | ChrisPBacon | 46% | 28 |
| #11 | Scarhands | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geod5 | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | 𝖝 Meister | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Sebrof | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Tango | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | ChrisPBacon | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geod5 | 729 | 0.32 | 20 min |
| #2 | Sebrof | 644 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #3 | Tango | 231 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | ChrisPBacon | 117 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | 𝖝 Meister | 106 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geod5 | +1.93 | 88 | 65 |
| #2 | 𝖝 Meister | +1.81 | 72 | 58 |
| #3 | Tango | +0.48 | 84 | 48 |
| #4 | Sebrof | +0.44 | 79 | 69 |
| #5 | Neate | +0.22 | 72 | 60 |





