








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 725 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3001 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,461 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2999 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2556 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1651 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2255 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $457,947 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Funds Are Safu | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | eVo 2 More Months! | 73% | 30 |
| #3 | conq | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | Jono | 67% | 61 |
| #5 | Boulevark | 67% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Redzalio | 58% | 64 |
| #11 | VIDDY | 58% | 99 |
| #12 | qt | 56% | 45 |
| #13 | Echo | 45% | 11 |
| #14 | Baggy | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Redzalio | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Jono | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | VIDDY | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | eVo 2 More Months! | 5 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | Freshfluffybuns | 3 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VIDDY | 442 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #2 | Jono | 325 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #3 | Redzalio | 277 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | qt | 144 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | eVo 2 More Months! | 117 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shoosT | +5.40 | 89 | 69 |
| #2 | eezin | +2.49 | 80 | 70 |
| #3 | Jono | +1.75 | 84 | 71 |
| #4 | conq | +0.47 | 75 | 60 |
| #5 | Freshfluffybuns | +0.30 | 75 | 55 |





