








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 212 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1350 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,936 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1314 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1560 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 605 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1457 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $549,647 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Katsuragi | 90% | 10 |
| #2 | Freshfluffybuns | 88% | 8 |
| #3 | XYoshiZ | 77% | 13 |
| #4 | Jono | 76% | 45 |
| #5 | shoosT | 73% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | conq | 59% | 22 |
| #12 | Peregrinus | 55% | 11 |
| #13 | aLeks | 50% | 16 |
| #14 | wishE | 44% | 9 |
| #15 | zeeK | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jono | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | shoosT | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | conq | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | aLeks | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Katsuragi | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shoosT | +4.13 | 89 | 65 |
| #2 | rock | +3.65 | 90 | 66 |
| #3 | XYoshiZ | +2.24 | 96 | 63 |
| #4 | Jono | +2.16 | 84 | 75 |
| #5 | evil zws | +1.60 | 87 | 49 |





