








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 339 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2042 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,069 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1264 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1401 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1381 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1023 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $721,764 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeff | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | nO tOXICiTY jAHR gUT | 57% | 54 |
| #3 | Tomazos | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | cARRY kANGEN | 51% | 103 |
| #5 | Doctor Quanix | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | nO tOXICiTY jAHR gUT | 57% | 54 |
| #3 | Tomazos | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | cARRY kANGEN | 51% | 103 |
| #5 | Doctor Quanix | 50% | 10 |
| #6 | Fiski | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cARRY kANGEN | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | nO tOXICiTY jAHR gUT | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Fiski | 4 | 0.0177 |
| #4 | Jeff | 3 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | Tomazos | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cARRY kANGEN | 192 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | nO tOXICiTY jAHR gUT | 166 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Tomazos | 112 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jeff | 39 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Doctor Quanix | 26 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doctor Quanix | +5.29 | 88 | 78 |
| #2 | Jeff | +4.32 | 91 | 27 |
| #3 | nO tOXICiTY jAHR gUT | +1.67 | 63 | 51 |
| #4 | Skutz | +1.07 | 70 | 66 |
| #5 | cARRY kANGEN | +0.39 | 73 | 67 |





