








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 148 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2555 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,359 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1836 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2475 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2181 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1867 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $926,433 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 584 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cARRY kANGEN | 63% | 84 |
| #2 | Doctor Quanix | 63% | 32 |
| #3 | Jeff | 60% | 87 |
| #4 | Skutz | 57% | 54 |
| #5 | Tomazos | 56% | 220 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jeff | 60% | 87 |
| #4 | Skutz | 57% | 54 |
| #5 | Tomazos | 56% | 220 |
| #6 | Zoëga | 53% | 34 |
| #7 | YEET | 53% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomazos | 18 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Jeff | 11 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | YEET | 8 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Zoëga | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | cARRY kANGEN | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomazos | 672 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | Jeff | 175 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | YEET | 149 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | cARRY kANGEN | 123 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Skutz | 89 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeff | +3.60 | 91 | 40 |
| #2 | Doctor Quanix | +3.30 | 91 | 70 |
| #3 | nO tOXICiTY jAHR gUT | +1.39 | 65 | 53 |
| #4 | Zoëga | +0.56 | 74 | 44 |
| #5 | cARRY kANGEN | +0.54 | 75 | 62 |





