








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
142 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 238 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 91 | 38% |
| Smokes | 39 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 74 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 34 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $57,000 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomazos | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | nO tOXICiTY jAHR gUT | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | cARRY kANGEN | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | Skutz | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | Doctor Quanix | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | nO tOXICiTY jAHR gUT | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | cARRY kANGEN | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | Skutz | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | Doctor Quanix | 0% | 3 |
| #6 | Jeff | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cARRY kANGEN | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | nO tOXICiTY jAHR gUT | 1 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Jeff | 1 | 0.0147 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nO tOXICiTY jAHR gUT | 33 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | Skutz | 26 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | cARRY kANGEN | 17 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Tomazos | 14 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| #5 | Doctor Quanix | 12 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doctor Quanix | +6.68 | 97 | 53 |
| #2 | Jeff | +5.08 | 89 | 28 |
| #3 | cARRY kANGEN | +2.92 | 85 | 60 |
| #4 | nO tOXICiTY jAHR gUT | +2.84 | 57 | 47 |
| #5 | Skutz | +2.08 | 58 | 64 |





