








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3909 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,977 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3940 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3738 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3352 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1947 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,005,419 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1353 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cARRY kANGEN | 69% | 45 |
| #2 | Jeff | 60% | 62 |
| #3 | Doctor Quanix | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | nO tOXICiTY jAHR gUT | 56% | 220 |
| #5 | Skutz | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | YEET | 52% | 54 |
| #8 | Zoëga | 50% | 40 |
| #9 | Vedoy | 48% | 31 |
| #10 | Perry☂ッ | 47% | 98 |
| #11 | Larsen | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nO tOXICiTY jAHR gUT | 64 | 0.0145 |
| #2 | Jeff | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Perry☂ッ | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | YEET | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Zoëga | 4 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nO tOXICiTY jAHR gUT | 509 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | Perry☂ッ | 170 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | YEET | 132 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jeff | 119 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Larsen | 83 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeff | +3.75 | 91 | 38 |
| #2 | Doctor Quanix | +3.13 | 92 | 64 |
| #3 | Baljeet | +1.59 | 69 | 60 |
| #4 | nO tOXICiTY jAHR gUT | +1.33 | 65 | 51 |
| #5 | Zoëga | +0.98 | 74 | 34 |





