








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 499 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2095 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,163 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2179 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2663 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3060 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2261 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $825,837 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 316 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ben | 47% | 32 |
| #2 | Mutt | 45% | 218 |
| #3 | Alex | 44% | 268 |
| #4 | Benjy | 43% | 200 |
| #5 | Rabid | 41% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Mutt | 45% | 218 |
| #3 | Alex | 44% | 268 |
| #4 | Benjy | 43% | 200 |
| #5 | Rabid | 41% | 128 |
| #6 | Serriinee | 38% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex | 56 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | Mutt | 37 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | Benjy | 35 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | Rabid | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Ben | 6 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benjy | 923 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #2 | Alex | 803 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #3 | Rabid | 326 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | Mutt | 187 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ben | 151 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex | +2.70 | 76 | 55 |
| #2 | Benjy | +1.97 | 66 | 54 |
| #3 | Ben | +1.22 | 72 | 50 |
| #4 | Trekdar | +0.29 | 52 | 61 |
| #5 | Mutt | -2.67 | 28 | 44 |





