








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2569 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3934 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3298 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3291 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2227 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,167,641 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4c3r | 57% | 54 |
| #2 | kulich | 54% | 167 |
| #3 | asiWizardes | 52% | 297 |
| #4 | Nigel | 52% | 166 |
| #5 | asiSympho | 47% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Nigel | 52% | 166 |
| #5 | asiSympho | 47% | 68 |
| #6 | asiDandie | 47% | 105 |
| #7 | asiMystik | 40% | 90 |
| #8 | SneakyBat | 36% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asiWizardes | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | 4c3r | 8 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Nigel | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | asiSympho | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | kulich | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asiWizardes | 543 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #2 | asiMystik | 263 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | 4c3r | 143 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nigel | 130 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | asiSympho | 88 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asiWizardes | +5.68 | 73 | 75 |
| #2 | 4c3r | +3.37 | 84 | 53 |
| #3 | asiDandie | +0.16 | 48 | 30 |
| #4 | kulich | -1.09 | 50 | 42 |
| #5 | John J. Flick | -1.10 | 52 | 72 |





