








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2475 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 420 | 8% |
| Smokes | 1033 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2359 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 1411 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $998,315 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asiSympho | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | John J. Flick | 54% | 167 |
| #3 | asiWizardes | 52% | 225 |
| #4 | asiDandie | 51% | 83 |
| #5 | 4c3r | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asiWizardes | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | John J. Flick | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | 4c3r | 5 | 0.0111 |
| #4 | asiMystik | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Nigel | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John J. Flick | 504 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | asiWizardes | 468 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #3 | asiMystik | 174 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Nigel | 115 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | 4c3r | 82 | 0.18 | 2 min |





