










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 636 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 576 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 146 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6169 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4648 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6257 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6797 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5669 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,083,595 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 837 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P-Diddy | 51% | 43 |
| #2 | Snech | 51% | 274 |
| #3 | Don Wold | 48% | 404 |
| #4 | Zortex | 48% | 94 |
| #5 | Steffoh | 45% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Snech | 51% | 274 |
| #3 | Don Wold | 48% | 404 |
| #4 | Zortex | 48% | 94 |
| #5 | Steffoh | 45% | 123 |
| #6 | Malkovin | 35% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don Wold | 24 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Snech | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Steffoh | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Zortex | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Malkovin | 4 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don Wold | 1436 | 0.17 | 34 min |
| #2 | Snech | 938 | 0.16 | 29 min |
| #3 | Steffoh | 256 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Zortex | 148 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Malkovin | 36 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steffoh | +2.55 | 69 | 70 |
| #2 | Snech | +1.13 | 68 | 65 |
| #3 | Ducky | +0.15 | 65 | 50 |
| #4 | Don Wold | -0.76 | 41 | 70 |
| #5 | Zortex | -2.25 | 42 | 54 |





