








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1930 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1500 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1671 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1472 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1410 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $305,438 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jub #ClashGG | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | .d0mi | 64% | 72 |
| #3 | Jesuis Y. | 63% | 19 |
| #4 | ✪ h1dd3n | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | Nevermind | 62% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | yung lemaus | 59% | 104 |
| #8 | SexyhAs | 57% | 125 |
| #9 | sHrox ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ | 56% | 9 |
| #10 | .xQ* | 53% | 19 |
| #11 | Tagami | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yung lemaus | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | .d0mi | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | sHrox ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .d0mi | 377 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #2 | SexyhAs | 334 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | yung lemaus | 328 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | Nevermind | 296 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #5 | REDCOCKBABY | 63 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyhAs | +2.32 | 92 | 69 |
| #2 | Tagami | +1.98 | 78 | 75 |
| #3 | ✪ h1dd3n | +1.38 | 95 | 59 |
| #4 | .d0mi | +1.35 | 87 | 72 |
| #5 | dasd- | +0.93 | 86 | 70 |





