








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1162 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,385 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1107 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1289 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1245 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 744 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $955,388 of utility $269 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 296 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 442 - Radiosporten | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | d3ny the dog | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | zoobie | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | Cadence | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | Hyklar | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KRAL | 6 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | 442 - Radiosporten | 3 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | gr4num | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Hyklar | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Cadence | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zoobie | 110 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | Cadence | 79 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | oceanVI | 75 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hyklar | 73 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | gr4num | 57 | 0.08 | 2 min |





