








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 306 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3005 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,174 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3369 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4504 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3702 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2599 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $985,007 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 422 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Marin chan | 45% | 20 |
| #8 | zoobie | 44% | 81 |
| #9 | Kry | 44% | 97 |
| #10 | s1mert | 44% | 34 |
| #11 | Cadence | 44% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyklar | 18 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Lihaug | 12 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | zoobie | 11 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Kry | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | 442 - Radiosporten | 8 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyklar | 582 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | zoobie | 395 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #3 | 442 - Radiosporten | 327 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | Lihaug | 261 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | Cadence | 208 | 0.10 | 4 min |





