








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 338 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1764 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,555 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2340 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1908 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2360 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1947 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $626,477 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 354 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lihaug | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | s1mert | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | Kry | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | d3ny the dog | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | s4mue1 | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | zoobie | 46% | 114 |
| #8 | 442 - Radiosporten | 45% | 73 |
| #9 | gr4num | 44% | 91 |
| #10 | lil plug | 38% | 26 |
| #11 | Broderbror | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zoobie | 14 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | 442 - Radiosporten | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | gr4num | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | lil plug | 5 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | Hyklar | 3 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zoobie | 537 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #2 | 442 - Radiosporten | 305 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | gr4num | 139 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Hyklar | 107 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | lil plug | 97 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lihaug | +3.12 | 77 | 69 |
| #2 | d3ny the dog | +2.69 | 63 | 69 |
| #3 | zoobie | +1.58 | 73 | 71 |
| #4 | s4mue1 | +1.36 | 78 | 53 |
| #5 | Kry | +0.19 | 37 | 53 |





