








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 162 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,614 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 425 | 26% |
| Smokes | 326 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 430 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 433 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $274,224 of utility $234 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stewie2Dads | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | J13K | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | prospekt | 67% | 30 |
| #4 | ThEScOoP | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | warpN | 63% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | roboscob | 61% | 51 |
| #8 | Bit37 | 60% | 15 |
| #9 | 😎♡arkhamthecat♡😎 | 50% | 4 |
| #10 | MON | 50% | 4 |
| #11 | 𝓲𝓼𝓱 | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roboscob | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | prospekt | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Bit37 | 2 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | ThEScOoP | 2 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | J13K | 2 | 0.0119 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | warpN | 102 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | TOP50OWEN | 92 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | prospekt | 69 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Stewie2Dads | 67 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | roboscob | 60 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J13K | +3.70 | 93 | 70 |
| #2 | roboscob | +2.80 | 86 | 59 |
| #3 | Stewie2Dads | +2.39 | 83 | 60 |
| #4 | MON | +2.05 | 90 | 77 |
| #5 | prospekt | +2.00 | 64 | 59 |





