








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 600 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 220 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3422 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,018 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3677 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5325 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6294 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4722 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $882,391 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 163 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carva | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | DexGod | 51% | 49 |
| #3 | Venustraphobic | 46% | 431 |
| #4 | Dedmo | 44% | 82 |
| #5 | Stupid | 42% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Venustraphobic | 46% | 431 |
| #4 | Dedmo | 44% | 82 |
| #5 | Stupid | 42% | 113 |
| #6 | Beamy | 40% | 224 |
| #7 | What a Tshame | 31% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Venustraphobic | 22 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Dedmo | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | DexGod | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Stupid | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Beamy | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beamy | 1245 | 0.29 | 23 min |
| #2 | Venustraphobic | 737 | 0.09 | 21 min |
| #3 | Stupid | 133 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Dedmo | 80 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | carva | 64 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carva | +5.70 | 84 | 70 |
| #2 | Venustraphobic | +2.06 | 79 | 69 |
| #3 | Dedmo | +1.03 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | JekkuPommi | +0.12 | 40 | 69 |
| #5 | DexGod | -0.44 | 52 | 20 |





