








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1115 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 782 | 11% |
| Smokes | 3211 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 1988 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1348 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $204,846 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carva | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | Karjalanpiirakka munavoilla | 49% | 41 |
| #3 | Venustraphobic | 45% | 150 |
| #4 | Dedmo | 44% | 36 |
| #5 | JekkuPommi | 42% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Dedmo | 44% | 36 |
| #5 | JekkuPommi | 42% | 113 |
| #6 | Beamy | 39% | 142 |
| #7 | DexGod | 36% | 14 |
| #8 | What a Tshame | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Venustraphobic | 15 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | JekkuPommi | 13 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Karjalanpiirakka munavoilla | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Beamy | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Dedmo | 4 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beamy | 827 | 0.29 | 15 min |
| #2 | Venustraphobic | 353 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | JekkuPommi | 221 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | carva | 108 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Karjalanpiirakka munavoilla | 78 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carva | +3.97 | 82 | 71 |
| #2 | Venustraphobic | +3.94 | 82 | 70 |
| #3 | Karjalanpiirakka munavoilla | +3.36 | 43 | 67 |
| #4 | JekkuPommi | +2.57 | 41 | 65 |
| #5 | Dedmo | +2.37 | 80 | 66 |





