








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 772 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 304 matches | ||
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7312 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,043 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6798 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7279 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5186 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4780 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,728,405 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 509 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dedmo | 48% | 159 |
| #2 | JekkuPommi | 46% | 431 |
| #3 | Stupid | 45% | 150 |
| #4 | Beamy | 42% | 279 |
| #5 | What a Tshame | 42% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dedmo | 48% | 159 |
| #2 | JekkuPommi | 46% | 431 |
| #3 | Stupid | 45% | 150 |
| #4 | Beamy | 42% | 279 |
| #5 | What a Tshame | 42% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JekkuPommi | 21 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Dedmo | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Beamy | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Stupid | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | What a Tshame | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beamy | 1442 | 0.27 | 26 min |
| #2 | JekkuPommi | 733 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #3 | Stupid | 170 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Dedmo | 151 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | What a Tshame | 86 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Venustraphobic | +1.91 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | Dedmo | +1.11 | 76 | 65 |
| #3 | JekkuPommi | -0.55 | 38 | 68 |
| #4 | What a Tshame | -1.88 | 43 | 52 |
| #5 | Stupid | -4.24 | 19 | 48 |





