








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 445 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 314 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3795 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,793 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2797 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3602 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3137 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3257 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,166,297 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 441 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nasty | 56% | 55 |
| #2 | HarryHamster | 54% | 57 |
| #3 | lagwag y | 47% | 72 |
| #4 | PilzMushroom ♥ | 47% | 158 |
| #5 | TԋҽRιɳG | 46% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | 🌿ᴸᵘᶜᵃˢ | 46% | 24 |
| #7 | Josh 未来 | 45% | 38 |
| #8 | Egeland | 41% | 39 |
| #9 | KungFuKalle | 41% | 22 |
| #10 | BonkAs | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🌿ᴸᵘᶜᵃˢ | 5 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | lagwag y | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | nasty | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | PilzMushroom ♥ | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | TԋҽRιɳG | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PilzMushroom ♥ | 367 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | 🌿ᴸᵘᶜᵃˢ | 204 | 0.42 | 6 min |
| #3 | lagwag y | 173 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | nasty | 152 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Josh 未来 | 121 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🌿ᴸᵘᶜᵃˢ | +3.14 | 88 | 75 |
| #2 | HarryHamster | +1.20 | 47 | 53 |
| #3 | lagwag y | +0.82 | 83 | 64 |
| #4 | TԋҽRιɳG | +0.64 | 47 | 57 |
| #5 | Shady [A] | +0.52 | 63 | 63 |





