








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 999 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 422 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4631 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,519 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5294 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4137 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3901 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2187 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,173,290 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thai Ming | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | Josh 未来 | 62% | 50 |
| #3 | ALF! | 59% | 32 |
| #4 | t00kie | 59% | 44 |
| #5 | Egeland | 56% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | HarryHamster | 49% | 98 |
| #9 | Shady [A] | 47% | 72 |
| #10 | Ken0 | 47% | 62 |
| #11 | .teil | 44% | 45 |
| #12 | PilzMushroom ♥ | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Egeland | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | TԋҽRιɳG | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Josh 未来 | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | t00kie | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Shady [A] | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t00kie | 178 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | Josh 未来 | 174 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Shady [A] | 172 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Egeland | 167 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | dr.noluv! | 105 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lagwag y | +1.01 | 80 | 67 |
| #2 | Ken0 | +0.81 | 52 | 66 |
| #3 | TԋҽRιɳG | +0.27 | 46 | 52 |
| #4 | Thai Ming | +0.21 | 44 | 44 |
| #5 | Shady [A] | +0.14 | 67 | 67 |





