








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 576 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3101 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3018 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2305 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1755 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2608 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $956,958 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hulle | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | 「MD」Suicide Squad | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | Princ3 | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | Eliphant | 50% | 52 |
| #5 | BabyShaRk | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Rambo | 47% | 15 |
| #7 | ☆Joanito☆ | 47% | 129 |
| #8 | tom | 45% | 100 |
| #9 | Epiphany | 45% | 29 |
| #10 | KingBear | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆Joanito☆ | 17 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | tom | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Eliphant | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Epiphany | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | BabyShaRk | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆Joanito☆ | 433 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | tom | 227 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Epiphany | 129 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | Eliphant | 64 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hulle | 50 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hulle | +4.44 | 60 | 66 |
| #2 | Epiphany | +2.76 | 89 | 76 |
| #3 | tom | +1.74 | 73 | 64 |
| #4 | ☆Joanito☆ | +1.62 | 81 | 42 |
| #5 | 「MD」GN0L1X | +1.37 | 72 | 64 |





