








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 729 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 405 matches | ||
| Esplay | 21 matches | 1,523 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4307 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,060 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5991 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3549 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3221 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3299 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,514,407 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ☆Joanito☆ | 45% | 31 |
| #8 | ✪ mtrL ✪ -:- | 44% | 34 |
| #9 | Sus | 44% | 50 |
| #10 | Nussy | 38% | 48 |
| #11 | -;Th0M4S;- | 37% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆Joanito☆ | 33 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | ☆Joanito☆ | 5 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | Nussy | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | J.P. | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | oStore | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆Joanito☆ | 793 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | Nussy | 196 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Sus | 117 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | ☆Joanito☆ | 115 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | J.P. | 101 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆Joanito☆ | +3.37 | 82 | 46 |
| #2 | ☆Joanito☆ | +2.86 | 79 | 48 |
| #3 | oStore | +0.88 | 50 | 79 |
| #4 | Princ3 | -0.01 | 53 | 65 |
| #5 | Tstone - See You in Valhalla | -0.39 | 73 | 53 |





