








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 890 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 913 matches | ||
| Wingman | 129 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




120 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14479 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,495 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11881 | 34% |
| Smokes | 10639 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5265 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 6710 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,216,648 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8398 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Princ3 | 52% | 200 |
| #2 | Tstone - See You in Valhalla | 52% | 116 |
| #3 | Epiphany | 50% | 84 |
| #4 | 「MD」GN0L1X | 47% | 129 |
| #5 | Crispy | 44% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Princ3 | 52% | 200 |
| #2 | Tstone - See You in Valhalla | 52% | 116 |
| #3 | Epiphany | 50% | 84 |
| #4 | 「MD」GN0L1X | 47% | 129 |
| #5 | Crispy | 44% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Princ3 | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Tstone - See You in Valhalla | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | 「MD」GN0L1X | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Epiphany | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 「MD」GN0L1X | 457 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | Princ3 | 334 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | Epiphany | 268 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | Crispy | 263 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | Tstone - See You in Valhalla | 101 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆Joanito☆ | +2.23 | 83 | 46 |
| #2 | Epiphany | +1.55 | 82 | 75 |
| #3 | 「MD」GN0L1X | +0.14 | 73 | 63 |
| #4 | Tstone - See You in Valhalla | -0.80 | 72 | 52 |
| #5 | Princ3 | -1.05 | 53 | 63 |





