








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 114 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2748 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,998 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1900 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3234 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 2094 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 770 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,072,335 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 857 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nFR | 63% | 56 |
| #2 | PhymosisBirkenau | 56% | 73 |
| #3 | Jesus of Nazarekt | 56% | 81 |
| #4 | freddd | 55% | 165 |
| #5 | kronos | 54% | 305 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | PhymosisBirkenau | 56% | 73 |
| #3 | Jesus of Nazarekt | 56% | 81 |
| #4 | freddd | 55% | 165 |
| #5 | kronos | 54% | 305 |
| #6 | BBniccccccc | 52% | 211 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BBniccccccc | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | kronos | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | PhymosisBirkenau | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | freddd | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Jesus of Nazarekt | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kronos | 315 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #2 | BBniccccccc | 244 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #3 | freddd | 234 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | PhymosisBirkenau | 221 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | nFR | 149 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhymosisBirkenau | +2.33 | 72 | 73 |
| #2 | kronos | +2.14 | 83 | 59 |
| #3 | nFR | +1.35 | 71 | 72 |
| #4 | Qussay | -0.06 | 67 | 51 |
| #5 | BBniccccccc | -0.62 | 66 | 52 |





