








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 380 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3912 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,300 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4331 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4118 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1534 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2317 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,491,609 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 277 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diddity | 55% | 53 |
| #2 | TreeDood | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | CHEF CURRY | 48% | 125 |
| #4 | lolihunter | 48% | 198 |
| #5 | Still my boy | 44% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | CHEF CURRY | 48% | 125 |
| #4 | lolihunter | 48% | 198 |
| #5 | Still my boy | 44% | 73 |
| #6 | Pudding-chan | 42% | 99 |
| #7 | Toxic Player | 38% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHEF CURRY | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Pudding-chan | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Toxic Player | 7 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | lolihunter | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Diddity | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHEF CURRY | 472 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | lolihunter | 349 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | Pudding-chan | 298 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | Still my boy | 159 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Diddity | 76 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TreeDood | +3.12 | 74 | 52 |
| #2 | Toxic Player | +2.64 | 77 | 42 |
| #3 | lolihunter | +1.37 | 63 | 44 |
| #4 | CHEF CURRY | +0.60 | 79 | 48 |
| #5 | Guy Nigma | くま | +0.05 | 56 | 58 |





