








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1130 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,393 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 593 | 25% |
| Smokes | 721 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 674 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 405 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $388,915 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Still my boy | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Pudding-chan | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | TreeDood | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | Guy Nigma | くま | 55% | 53 |
| #5 | CHEF CURRY | 52% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | TreeDood | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | Guy Nigma | くま | 55% | 53 |
| #5 | CHEF CURRY | 52% | 84 |
| #6 | Toxic Player | 38% | 26 |
| #7 | lolihunter | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHEF CURRY | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Guy Nigma | くま | 7 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Toxic Player | 5 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | lolihunter | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | TreeDood | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHEF CURRY | 385 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | Guy Nigma | くま | 149 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Still my boy | 68 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | lolihunter | 58 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pudding-chan | 31 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TreeDood | +2.52 | 79 | 46 |
| #2 | Toxic Player | +1.92 | 75 | 47 |
| #3 | Guy Nigma | くま | +1.15 | 62 | 59 |
| #4 | CHEF CURRY | +0.74 | 80 | 66 |
| #5 | lolihunter | +0.64 | 58 | 43 |





