








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
656 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 418 | 22% |
| Smokes | 424 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 554 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 480 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $326,512 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alastor | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Floeffel | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | Pandimo | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | Franakin | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | Icy | 67% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | raiden | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Crousi | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Icy | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Hypnoxas | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | ♥ IMNASA ♥ | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | raiden | 120 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Hypnoxas | 111 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Icy | 87 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Crousi | 56 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | ♥ IMNASA ♥ | 39 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pandimo | +3.53 | 82 | 80 |
| #2 | Laesche | +3.02 | 85 | 31 |
| #3 | Alastor | +2.97 | 71 | 52 |
| #4 | Franakin | +2.23 | 59 | 56 |
| #5 | dannyabcro | +1.83 | 47 | 67 |





