








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
222 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 529 | 50% |
| Smokes | 265 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 78 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 181 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $57,227 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Temple-OS | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | That Ain't Falco | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | daviid | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | Burger Town | 57% | 30 |
| #5 | proto | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | That Ain't Falco | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | daviid | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | Burger Town | 57% | 30 |
| #5 | proto | 33% | 3 |
| #6 | The Incredible Bulk | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daviid | 5 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | That Ain't Falco | 3 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daviid | 133 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #2 | Burger Town | 86 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | That Ain't Falco | 19 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | proto | 14 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| #5 | The Incredible Bulk | 3 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burger Town | +3.21 | 69 | 54 |
| #2 | daviid | +3.07 | 67 | 68 |
| #3 | That Ain't Falco | +0.47 | 59 | 37 |
| #4 | ZeroDoc | -1.27 | 45 | 63 |
| #5 | proto | -2.80 | 26 | 39 |





