








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1189 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,190 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 888 | 28% |
| Smokes | 965 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 563 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 774 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $136,229 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZeroDoc | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | Temple-OS | 49% | 37 |
| #3 | That Ain't Falco | 48% | 71 |
| #4 | daviid | 47% | 92 |
| #5 | The Incredible Bulk | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Temple-OS | 49% | 37 |
| #3 | That Ain't Falco | 48% | 71 |
| #4 | daviid | 47% | 92 |
| #5 | The Incredible Bulk | 44% | 25 |
| #6 | (chad) when does it get better | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daviid | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | That Ain't Falco | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Temple-OS | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daviid | 387 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | ZeroDoc | 125 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | That Ain't Falco | 28 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | The Incredible Bulk | 18 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Temple-OS | 2 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burger Town | +3.30 | 71 | 53 |
| #2 | That Ain't Falco | +1.57 | 63 | 30 |
| #3 | daviid | +1.22 | 71 | 69 |
| #4 | ZeroDoc | -1.29 | 46 | 63 |
| #5 | The Incredible Bulk | -4.38 | 67 | 31 |





