








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1285 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1474 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1359 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 632 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1092 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $160,828 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blueberry | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | canter | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | ✪ClappyBats | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | antli0n | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | Griz | 64% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | owen | 33% | 24 |
| #11 | kommi666 | 30% | 10 |
| #12 | Solstice | 28% | 18 |
| #13 | bubble | 25% | 20 |
| #14 | ◥◣ . ◢◤ | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hamlet | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | iguana | 4 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | bubble | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | owen | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Griz | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hamlet | 181 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | owen | 84 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Griz | 61 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | bubble | 61 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | iguana | 59 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | canter | +3.79 | 79 | 73 |
| #2 | Griz | +3.48 | 79 | 71 |
| #3 | antli0n | +2.48 | 80 | 49 |
| #4 | ✪ClappyBats | +2.27 | 88 | 75 |
| #5 | Blueberry | +1.97 | 68 | 43 |





