










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 269 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 103 matches | ||
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




103 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8087 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,605 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6175 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7652 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6089 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7689 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,057,995 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 704 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goodgirl | 57% | 343 |
| #2 | AnJIN | 56% | 349 |
| #3 | sesam1us | 55% | 161 |
| #4 | TerrorKrümel | 54% | 285 |
| #5 | GEEZERSDEAGLE | 54% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | mxhmpl. | 51% | 525 |
| #10 | xXFabsterXx | 50% | 48 |
| #11 | DeinFinanzcoach | 49% | 112 |
| #12 | Teks | 48% | 44 |
| #13 | Diie_Ina ♥ | 41% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sesam1us | 27 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | AnJIN | 20 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | TerrorKrümel | 19 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | mxhmpl. | 12 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | goodgirl | 12 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mxhmpl. | 798 | 0.08 | 18 min |
| #2 | AnJIN | 790 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #3 | sesam1us | 597 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #4 | TerrorKrümel | 433 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #5 | ♱D3toX♱ | 363 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sesam1us | +4.71 | 77 | 67 |
| #2 | ♱D3toX♱ | +3.80 | 89 | 68 |
| #3 | Paiin | +2.20 | 84 | 63 |
| #4 | AnJIN | +1.67 | 80 | 60 |
| #5 | TerrorKrümel | +0.03 | 52 | 56 |





