










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 613 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3619 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2411 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3447 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3654 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4792 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,842,268 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✿Nylaah✿ | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | AnJIN | 64% | 193 |
| #3 | ✪ Sören | 61% | 31 |
| #4 | sesam1us | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | GEEZERSDEAGLE | 59% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paiin | 65 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | TerrorKrümel | 24 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | AnJIN | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | sesam1us | 11 | 0.0176 |
| #5 | mxhmpl. | 9 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paiin | 961 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #2 | mxhmpl. | 479 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | TerrorKrümel | 430 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #4 | AnJIN | 411 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | Bulletdrop96 | 198 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Sören | +6.32 | 84 | 43 |
| #2 | sesam1us | +5.00 | 70 | 71 |
| #3 | goth mommy | +4.54 | 72 | 42 |
| #4 | Paiin | +3.24 | 90 | 67 |
| #5 | AnJIN | +2.28 | 80 | 57 |





