








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,051 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1622 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1976 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1109 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1344 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $433,335 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sesam1us | 58% | 89 |
| #2 | Dreamshade | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | DeinFinanzcoach | 52% | 44 |
| #4 | Bulletdrop96 | 52% | 96 |
| #5 | Paiin | 52% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Paiin | 52% | 172 |
| #6 | mxhmpl. | 51% | 135 |
| #7 | Teks | 47% | 19 |
| #8 | Diie_Ina ♥ | 39% | 36 |
| #9 | Mango-Magier | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sesam1us | 11 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Paiin | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Dreamshade | 4 | 0.0142 |
| #4 | mxhmpl. | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | DeinFinanzcoach | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sesam1us | 314 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | Paiin | 199 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | mxhmpl. | 175 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | DeinFinanzcoach | 67 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bulletdrop96 | 57 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♱D3toX♱ | +3.91 | 89 | 68 |
| #2 | sesam1us | +3.72 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | Paiin | +0.28 | 78 | 56 |
| #4 | Dreamshade | -0.44 | 64 | 51 |
| #5 | Bulletdrop96 | -0.94 | 62 | 50 |





