








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1781 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,653 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1007 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1932 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1755 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2959 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,048,477 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JTrops | 67% | 54 |
| #2 | J@CK XDDD | 62% | 203 |
| #3 | Gumboot | 61% | 276 |
| #4 | Mr. Mutton | 61% | 216 |
| #5 | B1gDaddyA | 60% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | B1gDaddyA | 60% | 168 |
| #6 | strelok_ | 59% | 39 |
| #7 | hostage1337 | 58% | 66 |
| #8 | Detective Shaggy© | 53% | 19 |
| #9 | Tryst | 48% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B1gDaddyA | 38 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | hostage1337 | 10 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Gumboot | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | J@CK XDDD | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | JTrops | 6 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Mutton | 1402 | 0.32 | 48 min |
| #2 | Gumboot | 426 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #3 | J@CK XDDD | 218 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | B1gDaddyA | 168 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tryst | 154 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B1gDaddyA | +3.14 | 79 | 36 |
| #2 | JTrops | +2.99 | 76 | 67 |
| #3 | Mr. Mutton | +2.10 | 66 | 82 |
| #4 | strelok_ | +0.91 | 62 | 50 |
| #5 | hostage1337 | +0.82 | 86 | 44 |





